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Signs, Signs, Everywhere the Signs…

So on New Year’s Eve, as with anytime two or three are gathered together, there is always a little whining and bitching about the state of affairs of the world. 

Fortunately, no one at the New Year’s Eve gathering had read my previous post, so the topic of discussion was not that.  We did however, broach another almost as heady topic.  The engrossing conversation was all about RESERVED parking at malls and grocery stores. 

It was pointed out that in Alberta it is too easy to get a handicap parking pass.  On top of this, due to the simplicity of obtaining the pass the stores and malls have had to expand the amount of available handicap parking.  Now, I used to park in the back forty of the malls simply to protect the paint job and body condition of my car.  Now I am forced to park in the back 40 acres because that is about the only area of the parking lot that isn’t reserved for handicappped people.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that the truly handicapped should have reserved parking.  Unfortunately, in Alberta you can obtain a handicap parking pass almost as simply as paying for it at a registry.  How many times has someone parked right in front of Tim Horton’s, in the handicap space and exited their vehicle and run into the store?  Now, I want to go in and point out that they are parked in handicap parking, but after looking in their windshield there is indeed a parking permit.  It either belongs to someone else or their own handicap must be a mental challenge of some sort, because they could run the marathon from what I have witnessed.

The topic then turned to the stores like Zellers who have put up signs, and blocked off 4 to 8 stalls for EXPECTANT MOTHERS, MOTHERS WITH CHILDREN and otherwise non-infirm senoir citizens.  Dammit, I can almost understnad the senior citizens, but EXPECTANT MOTHERS?  Ask any OB-GYN and they will tell you that EXPECTANT MOTHERS should be getting regular daily exercise.  If this is the case, why should they have to park 10 feet from the entrance of Zellers anymore than I should?  The next time I hear a woman bitch because she gained 65 pounds and only gave birth to a 7 pound baby, I am going to respond, “That’s because you only walked 10 feet to the entrance of the mall you lazy wench!”

My next favorite is the Reserved for Parents with Children sign.  Okay, obviously parents must have children.  However, the children should be accompanying said parents, and should not be 35 year old professionals parking in the next spot with their 13 year old children.

This is all good and well, but today I just about lost it when I went to Sobeys and the first four spots of each of 4 lanes was now reserved.  So I had to walk around and read the signs just to see which special interest groups were getting the prime spots.  I laughed my ass off.  I couldn’t resist taking pictures as I realized that someone at Sobeys has about the same sarcastic sense of humour I have.

The foillowing signs are ACTUAL signs at the Sobeys on 167th Ave at 97th St in Edmonton:

  

  

   

  

 

After taking a walk and seeing what the signs all said I was once again my jovial self.  Indeed many a shopper may have wondered whether or not I was in charge of my faculties.  I actually caught myself laughing out loud.

Hats off to the person who came up with this idea, however, next time warn me that the signs are actually chuckles so I don’t park in BACK DAMNED 40 ACRES to avoid illegally parking in reserved spaces!!  LOL!! Several of the spots were reserved for ME!

Now I can honestly say, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Technorati tags: Sobeys, humour, shopping, parking, handicap parking